How to Show Love To Your Husband the Way He Craves

In a wild ride called motherhood, a relationship between you and your husband can take a backseat. Do you want to learn how to show love to your husband and stir those embers?

Most of the time, it doesn’t require grand gestures or expensive surprises. It’s about understanding his unique needs, speaking his love language, and weaving little threads of affection into the everyday tapestry of your lives. Think handwritten notes tucked in lunch bags, surprise back rubs after a long day, or simply carving out precious quality time even with schedules brimming.

Want more ways how to show your husband you love HIM? This article is your secret guide to rediscovering the romance, rekindling the spark, and saying “I love you” in a way that resonates deep within your husband’s heart.

Why should you show your husband you love him? 

You already do a lot for your husband. The fact you are married means you gave him yourself and your best years of life. You gave him kids (well, it was a mutual effort, but still, you paid the highest price through pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum, and keep paying it now).

If you are like the majority of moms and wives, you probably also work, cook a lot, maintain your house, handle most of the shopping, and maybe even homeschool your kids. So why bother showing your husband you love him in any special way after that? Isn’t this self-evident? 

The reason for showing your husband that you love him is because even the strongest bonds need tending. Feeling cherished strengthens not only your marriage but also every facet of our lives. Showing your husband appreciation helps foster a vibrant, fulfilling partnership. By empowering HIM, you empower yourself and build a solid ambiance of love for your kids to grow in.

Another reason why you should show him you love him is that your husband may receive signs of affection from many women around him (yes, the world is still there). However, he wants to receive affection from you because he chose YOU as his very special partner in life.

So, are you eager to learn how to show husband you love him?

How to show love to your husband in the way he’ll love

1. Show him your affection 

Affection is not always about sex. Think about it as verbal sex or, even better, as sex of thoughts. The idea is to make your man feel desired. Here’s how to show him you love him:

• Take the lead in being intimate. Snuggle with him even if you don’t like to snuggle. Talk to him about sex in a sexual way (express desire). Grab his hand, hug him from behind, or kiss him when you are in public. 
• Let him know you think about him during the day (call him to remind him how you miss him and say words of love, say you keep him in your prayers). 
• Ditch the mundane, dial up the love! Send your hubby a sweet surprise – a mid-day compliment, a reminder of why he melts your heart, or just a simple “I love you.” 
• Let him know you are happy to be his wife. Your man’s greatest desire is to see you happy, secure, and thriving. Don’t leave him guessing your contentment. Just say you are happy with him, no matter what.   
• Leave him reminders of your love (a note on the front seat of his car, in the shower or on the mirror in the bathroom, on his napkin, or in his lunch).
• Give him a hero’s welcome: greet him at the door with a warm hug and a genuine smile. Ask about his day and listen intently.
• Surprise him with a mid-day phone call just to say “I love you” and ask about his day. A quick virtual coffee break together can do wonders.
• Do something nice for him without being asked. Offer to cook his favorite meal, run him a hot bath, or give him a massage after a long day.

2. Respect him in your words and behavior

Here’s how to show your husband you love him through your attitude:  

• Be grateful for what he does (providing, paying the bills, spending time with kids, helping you out with the housework, etc.) even if you think he could do it better.
• Do not criticize him or discuss his faults when talking to other people (even your best friend). Never humiliate your husband in the eyes of your kids.
• Thank him for what he is doing right (if it is hard to think of something, it means you don’t praise your man enough.
• Switch your focus from failures to victories.
• Listen to him without judgment. Sometimes he just needs a listening ear. Offer him your support and avoid giving unsolicited advice.
• Put down your phone! When you’re together, be present. Give him your full attention, listen actively, and avoid distractions like social media.

Submission is not very popular these days. However, a self-imposed submission is what saves many marriages from crashing against the hardships of life. It is God’s design of marriage, and it just works.   

It was difficult to submit for me. I was raised by a single mom, and the main message I learned from her was: “If you can’t have it your way, protest.” Seems like I inherited some control queen tendencies from my mom and tried to rule every situation in my marriage.

I can’t express how much disruption this habit brought into my marriage. The healing came when I realized that what was good for my husband (and to my husband) was good for me because we are one.   

3. Be there for him and meet his needs 

Instead of assuming the map to their heart, grab a flashlight and explore together. Ditch the “shoulds” and “musts” you think he needs, and ask him to paint a picture of his perfect day.

Go like, “Dear, what can I do to make this day perfect for you?”

You might be surprised by the answer – a cup of coffee brewed by the time he wakes up for work, a quiet Saturday morning (quiet because you take the kids out) so he can sleep a little bit more, or simply the magic of having his favorite socks mysteriously folded, ready for duty (try out the genius Konmari folding method!).

So trade the blueprints for open ears, swap the expectations for curious eyes, and you will get the cues.

4. Become a better version of yourself

 

An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12). 

Words of love are void if the trust is disrupted. Here’s how to show him you love him:

• Become a woman your man can trust. A reliable partner who supports, believes, does not judge, does not betray, etc. 
• Be genuine and do not try to act like fellow moms, social media icons, colleagues, or even your best friend.
• Be your own person. Be yourself in any situation and with all the people (inside and outside of your home).  

5. Share your goals with HIM

Men like ambitious women. Go-getters. But do not leave your goals only to yourself. Invite your husband to your goals by discussing them, praying together about them, and getting his support and advice.

It requires a lot of back-and-forth, but it makes your husband feel a valuable part of your life, a partner in success, not a wallet or help.

He wants to know that you have a future together as a couple. Do not be a single fighter who uses family resources to get the desired. 

6. Be honest about the problems

Men hate staying in the dark. And they hate feeling like outsiders. If you are aware of a problem, do not hide it while trying to fix it yourself, because if you fail and your man finds out, it would be a strong signal of mistrust from you to him (you didn’t tell because you didn’t believe in him or you thought you could do it better).

So, here’s how to show you love him:

• Honestly communicate everything crucial that is going on in your marriage and make him a part of the process.

This way you make him feel valued.

7. Let him enjoy the company of his friends

Just like everyone, your partner needs healthy social connections beyond your relationship. Trusting your partner to navigate their own friendships shows incredible support.

• Encourage your husband to spend time with his friends, knowing you respect his need for these connections. 
• Remind him about his buddies’ birthdays.
• Offer to host a game night for his whole crew and prepare the snacks for his company. 

Time with his friends allows him to recharge and return to our relationship feeling refreshed and energized. This, in turn, strengthens your connection and creates a more fulfilling dynamic.

8. Be interested in his interests 

You may have different passions in life, but be sure that your husband really wants to share his passions with you. If it makes him happy, he wants you to be near when he is happy. 

Dive into his passions, don’t just dip your toes. Forget polite nods and glazed-over eyes. Instead, grab a scuba mask and plunge into the depths of what makes him tick. Ask, not because you “should,” but because you genuinely want to know.

It’s not about forcing yourself to love everything he loves. It’s about finding the ember of fascination hidden within those interests. Here are some ideas on how to show love to your husband:

• Celebrate his career success as if it were yours (even if you don’t understand a thing in his profession). 
• Plan a day around his interests – going to the stadium to watch his favorite team playing, a fishing trip, a museum visit, or a hike in his favorite park. Binge-watch his favorite Netflix shows, go camping together, or watch football with him (insert your variable here). 
• Buy him a present. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Think about his interests and hobbies. Maybe it’s a new book by his favorite author, sports gear, tickets to a sporting event, or a subscription to a service he’d enjoy.

9. Ask how he wants it

So, how to show love to your husband… in bed? Intimacy thrives on understanding. While unspoken desires have their own allure, open communication can unlock a deeper level of pleasure for both of you.

• Put effort into foreplay. Don’t rush into things. Take your time, explore each other’s bodies, and build anticipation. This can be through massage, cuddling, or using sensual lotions.
• Set the mood. Dim the lights, light some candles, and put on some sensual music. Create a relaxing and inviting atmosphere.
• Dress up for each other. Put on some lingerie or something that makes you feel sexy. It can add a spark of excitement.
• Take a shower or bath together. This is a natural way to relax and connect physically before intimacy.
• Ask your love “how he wants it”. This may seem direct, but it’s an invitation to co-create a more fulfilling experience and a robust message that his feelings matter. 

This last one is actually number one in how to show love to your husband. This simple question opens the door to exploring mutual preferences, from touch and setting to desired pace and intensity. It fosters trust and vulnerability, letting each partner become the guide for the other’s pleasure. By actively listening and responding to your husband’s feelings, you build a shared language of intimacy, one touch, one whispered word at a time.

Beyond grand gestures: the subtle art of showing love to your husband

I hope this guide on how to show love to your husband was handy.

Love is a verb, not a noun. It’s in the quiet moments, the shared laughter, the unspoken understanding, the unwavering support. Look for ways how to show love to your husband not just on special occasions but in the tapestry of your everyday life. 

And as your love story unfolds, remember, the greatest gift you can give your husband is not perfection but a love that is true, honest, and ever-growing, just like the two of you.

A quick reminder on how to show love to your husband (and make it echo in his heart)

• Listen, truly listen. Give him your full attention, without distractions or interruptions. Let him know his words, his dreams, and his worries truly matter to you.
• Speak his love language. Does he crave words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, or thoughtful gifts? Tailor your expressions of love to his unique needs.
• Celebrate the small things. Notice and appreciate the little things he does for you, a cup of coffee in the morning, a helping hand with chores, a silly joke that made you laugh.
• Be his biggest cheerleader. Support his dreams, his goals, and his passions. Believe in him even when he doubts himself, and celebrate his victories, big and small.
• Nurture physical intimacy. Touch is a powerful way to connect. A hug, a kiss, a hand brushed against his… These small gestures speak volumes of your love.
• Keep the spark alive. Surprise him with a spontaneous date night, a handwritten love letter, or a small token of your affection. Don’t let the routine dim the flames of your love.
• Grow together. Encourage each other’s personal growth, explore new hobbies together, and learn from each other’s experiences. A shared journey strengthens the bond of love.

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