Heartfelt Wedding Morning Traditions: This Coffee From Dad Will Never Be The Same…

A hot cup of morning coffee MADE FOR HER. The father who carries it realizes, some things will never be the same again. Though we know as parents the joy of fatherhood and motherhood remains even after the wedding day, there’s something special in this LAST cup of steaming coffee from dad on his daughter’s wedding morning. When did a cup of coffee come to have so much poured into it? When it had a voice receiving it say, “THANKS DADDY.” The idea we would be starting one of the most heartwarming wedding morning traditions never entered our minds when our girls first started having their “coffee from dad.” So where do we start?.. 

Old & modern wedding traditions in our family

Family traditions are something I have noticed slipping away. I grew up in a home where we were rich with traditions. I have a family tradition that goes with being Irish. Even my husband and I had to dance at our wedding to a traditional Irish song with my bridesmaid’s father on the squeeze box and her mother (with the Irish accent) singing. 

The whole family gathered, about 250 people, singing “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” as my husband and I danced by ourselves in the middle of the room. Such laughter, joy, and tears my parents experienced as they watched me walk out of their home and into the home I would build with my husband. And I’m so glad this home is brimming with old and modern traditions, some of which we invented ourselves.

The thing about a tradition is sometimes you don’t know it’s being formed until you look back and realize it. You do it for one of your kids, and the other kids say, “Me too!” This is how great family traditions start. 

Farewell coffee from Dad, “Do you still want to get married?” from Mom, and other amazing wedding morning traditions we started

What do these family wedding traditions have to do with coffee?

To say my daughters and husband love coffee is an understatement. It’s where they could share life together. There was a time, when they were young, their dad would sit at the edge of their bed at the end of the day and ask them, “What was the best part of the day? What was the hardest part of the day?” It’s where he would give wisdom and attention to his girls. 

As they got older, sharing a cup of steaming hot coffee, especially in the morning, became the place and time where they would enjoy laughter, wisdom, joy, and tears. These “coffee with daddy” times truly became special as they started to go out into the world; not being around as much as jobs and colleges started to take first place in their lives. 

Yet when their dad would offer them a cup of coffee they would stop and sit for a while. We started to notice that this was becoming a ritual as each daughter was initiated into the coffee tradition of their dad. Birthdays and special occasions, had at times, the tradition of dad ordering their favorite drink and bringing it to them. 

It became something they could rely on. Their dad would be there for them.

Wedding morning tradition 1: Bride’s coffee-in-bed from Dad

When wedding plans were being made I could always see in my husband’s eyes and the way he went about his day that he did think about how things were going to change. 

I don’t think he even realized the morning cup of coffee (that was made specifically how each daughter liked it), had become a tradition that he did with each of the girls. 

We have three daughters and when the first one got married, the morning of her wedding, he brought her a cup of coffee. I do not think either of them realized that there would be something special a father could do with his daughter on the last day of being in her family home.

This was us… This is what we as a father, mother, and sisters were to experience together. It would become our wedding morning tradition. 

Wedding morning tradition 2: a few questions from Mom

Next, we had a meal together that would just be our family. I just wanted to experience that last time it would just be me, my husband, and my three daughters. Mom, dad, and sisters; enjoying the intimacy of conversations a family dinner provides. It would no longer just be the five of us. A new chair would be placed at our table with a voice added to the conversations. But also realizing there would be more times an empty seat would occupy my family table.

As we sat there, enjoying just the five of us one last time, I turned to my daughter and decided to ask a very important question, “DO YOU STILL WANT TO GET MARRIED?” 

We wanted all our daughters to know that all the way up to before the ceremony if they ever hesitated and thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea, we did not care how much money, time, and energy were spent, we would call off the wedding for them! 

Of course, each of my daughters screamed “Yes, I want to get married!”

Then the next question would be asked, “Why?” 

And they would say something like “Because I love this man and I believe he would be a good Christian husband… “

Then we would all scream “We’re having a wedding!”

Something old, new, borrowed, blue, and a sixpence, for your shoe

 This is an Irish tradition, and it also developed with each daughter. This was a tradition I definitely wanted to do. Grandmothers, aunts, and girl cousins could participate in family traditions. Though they may be the extended part of the immediate family of mother, father, and children, they provide a richness to traditions. 

Each of the women would provide a token of memory and love represented by one of the categories the daughter would carry down the aisle to her husband, whom she would be starting a new family. Again, with that second daughter, we added the six-pence penny, brought back from Ireland when my husband and I took a trip out there. I cannot tell you the joy I had in my heart to bring back an official Irish six-pence penny for the 2nd daughter to have as she walked down that aisle.

Realizing wedding morning traditions are traditions when the second (or third) time happens

It wasn’t until we started the wedding plans for our second daughter that she informed us, “I will be expecting everything like my sister’s wedding- especially my morning coffee, our meal together, and mom‘s questions.”

But, it was when the last daughter got married that I realized the tradition of my husband bringing coffee the morning of the wedding and everything else we did, was something very significant in the life of my family. 

This time it was very emotional because I realized this would be the last time we would experience her father bringing a wedding morning coffee and me asking the questions. The sisters could not wait for that wedding morning time because they each knew how much it meant to them to have it happen. 

So, when the last daughter was sitting in her bed and the two sisters got on either side of her, you could see the excitement for what was going to be given to her and what was going to be asked. They were excited. 

But they did not realize we were now watching our daughters leave our home and going to build their homes with the men whom they loved.

It’s OK that these traditions grow and even are added to as time goes on because it’s the heart and the intention behind these traditions that make them meaningful.

Our wedding morning traditions will go on (even if altered)

I hope my daughters and sons-in-law will start their own family traditions that will lead right up to the moment when they watch their children walk out of the homes they built into the homes their children will build. Traditions can be passed on, but they may look different as each child starts their own family and traditions.

I thought wedding traditions were now over for me, but my granddaughter asked a question. She was able to be a flower girl at the last wedding. She picked up my daughter’s veil and said, “You’re done with weddings. What will you do with the veil?” I smiled and said, “Let me tell you about the tradition of this veil because I think you can keep this going.” 

Looking for family wedding ideas?

If you were seeking some wedding morning ideas to make your daughter’s (or son’s) big day even more special, our set of wedding morning traditions is a good start. They blend well with modern wedding culture and Christian values. 

What family wedding traditions do you have in your homes? Share in the comments!

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